Project Runway

OK, let’s start this blog entry with a question — Am I the only one that can’t get enough of the reality TV show Project Runway? It’s a run away hit if you ask me. I hate to admit it, but I feel my secret is safe on the internet.

I don’t think that I have an eye for fashion or any design abilities that involve fabric, but this is one of the few industries that I dont know anything about and wanted to learn more. If I had to be on a reality show, I would want to be on Project Runway. I have developed an optimum playing strategy to win this show. I have some tried and tested tips for future contenders on Project Runway. Tried yes, but not tested to be honest. I only conducted one very informal survey and this was just a ploy to get a phone number of one of the models. Let’s put it on the table, these tips have not been tried or tested I just dont know why I stated that earlier.

Here we go:

  1. You can’t have enough sequins, but leave the Bedazzler at home.
  2. Tight is in, but see-through is out.
  3. Use pinking sheers (not sure what they are, but they sound funny).
  4. If someone wears small sunglasses, use oversized sunglasses. If someone uses oversized sunglasses, use ski goggles.
  5. Don’t compromise your vision, unless your vision doesn’t involve cleavage of some sort.
  6. Drink Fiji water and smoke filterless cigarillos.
  7. If by chance something you designed looks wearable, make it shorter/longer, hem at an angle, add a layer of puffiness, and stick something protruding from one shoulder.
  8. Everything can be used for inspiration and everything includes a JC Penny catalog.
  9. On the business side of fashion, learn to name drop: Agatha, Custo, Louis, and R.
  10. Mock tears are good when trying to explain what went horribly wrong with your design.

Auf Wiedersehen

Things I Love

I love artificial cherry flavoring, cardboard boxes with lids not flaps, cars that don’t break down, soup du jour, jumbo grade eggs, people who have an uncle or brother that has done everything, alien technology, animals with a drinking problem, generic greeting cards, grated cheeses, comfortable shoes, the green grass on the other side of the fence, the word “Polaroid”, small dogs, mild heart attacks, the smell of dry erase markers, coconut flavored anything, iced lattes, running around in circles, licking postage stamps, duct tape, marble cake, New York City, garter belts, electric hedge trimmers, finger/toe nail clippers, large cup holders, paper straws, the X-files, middle class athletes, women from Venus, TV, laid-back hippies, false stereotypes, circumnavigating the globe, dishpan hands, black electrical tape, cheese cake with strawberries, water coolers, baby corns, leather style wallets, mind expanding Tylenol, Velcro strap loafers, half-mast flag poles, fiddle playing, level headed people, the wheels on the bus that go round and round, whipped shaving cream, mutual funds, bag pipes, people tap dancing, Casual Sex (the movie), casual sex, grinders, heroes, hoagies, subs, the backs of mouse pads, foreigners, the smell of my R2-D2 eraser, the taste of my R2-D2 eraser, Kenny Roger’s Roasters, cork boards, the M-line, moon clocks, corduroy khakis, ginseng tea, grappling hooks, metric allen wrenches, two percent milk, croutons, those little lobster bibs, #2 yellow pencils, the previous channel button on my remote control, blurry porn, blurry French porn, tiny screws, things for a “limited time only,” impeachable offenses, hose clamps, the orange part of candy corn, nervous energy, instruction manuals, independent films, Chinese medicine balls, inflatable furniture, isopropyl rubbing alcohol, extra long Q-tips, my book of 101 hippie jokes, crevasses, food that contains maltodextrin, my Britney Spears MP3’s, and things that “crack” when heated.